Transformation:
Astrology: It isn’t as magical as it sounds OR maybe it is even more magical than I originally thought. More importantly, it isn’t just about your daily, broad horoscope that any sign can relate to on any given day. Astrology is so much more than what most modern societies believe.
For decades now, we’ve related astrology with our sun sign and just stopped there; taking our sun sign as the defining theme of our person. Your sun sign is a major and vital part of your personal chart, but it’s not the only one.
Space is infinite……
endless…….
and ever-expanding!
So, what is astrology, then?
It is the belief that there is a correlation between planets, stars, asteroids, moons, and/or any astro movement or astronomical positions and ourselves. It is the study of space alignments that influence one’s character at birth, throughout their life, and in their future. Astrologers believe that these moving objects in space play a role in each of our lives as individuals, societies, generations, and as a planet!
In short, astrology is the study of time!
That’s right…
Over the last couple of years, I have personally gone through a total transformation, which can be reflected in my astrology chart, (but we’ll get to this another day). I have spent hours, maybe thousands, soaking in as much esoteric, occult, and metaphysical knowledge as time would allow me. For most of my life, I have felt this deep, inner need to learn about the existence of literally… everything! I had so many unanswered questions and countless philosophical theories about the nature of life itself. Most profoundly, this transformation began with unconscious trauma and a quiet question that felt hooked into my life from the beginning and that was… “why me?” This seemed to lead to a spiraling tunnel of personal, internal files which I had yet to recover, clean, and wipe from the hard-drive of my soul.
“Why me?!”
“Why have I gone through all these heavy things?”
“Why have I been betrayed so many times?”
“Why doesn’t my family accept me or see me for who I actually am?”
“Who is ‘God’ and why would ‘he’ allow these things to happen?”
I mean… why NOT me?
For years, a deck of tarot cards had sat on my bookshelf. In our teens and early twenties, one of my best friends and I loved witches and fantasy. I was in love with the idea of magic! She bought me the deck as a gift. For some reason, however, I feared them just as much as I was curious about them. I was taught to believe they were somehow “evil” and that they were maybe even a portal for demonic presence or the devil himself! Looking back now, it seems so irrational to believe such a thing; even more irrational to teach that to a child.
After my divorce and a dreaded move back to my hometown, the intense feeling in me that my life was about to take a major turn vibrated through me like a personal earthquake. I began my new life as a single mom and moved in with someone I considered family. Shockingly, I was locked out of my home after a twelve hour shift in a warehouse (an hour away) for no apparent reason other than the forming of my current (homosexual) relationship. That stung.
The depression wrapped its venomous claws tightly around my throat.
Afterward, I didn’t feel as though I had much to lose and that’s when I decided to open those tarot cards.
I’m unsure that I ever really sat them back down once I claimed them as my own.
I found my magic!
How accurate they were blew me away! I was hungry to understand more. I felt a sense of broadening… knowing… expanding… and an overall peace, love and acceptance for not only my own being, but for others, the world around me and beyond it. Puzzle pieces snapped together. I was connecting with something greater than my ego.
A light had finally flickered into the darkness, emptiness, and lonliness I had been experiencing throughout my life.
I was being… illuminated!
For so long, I felt that something was missing and finally, FINALLY, I had found it!
After months of intense study and reading the cards of my friends, my confidence grew and I began to notice certain patterns and synchronicities within the cards; like someone getting three fives or five swords cards. To me, this had to mean something. Coincidentally, I stumbled across an article about synchronicity in numbers. This began a new interest in esoteric knowledge.
This article had explained the basis of numerology and how every number has a specific vibration. My personal (a.k.a. life path) number, based on the article’s personal Lifepath calculator, was 11. This is the number of teaching, spirituality, and ILLUMINATION. It also means that my vibration is double that of most others.
Somehow, I instinctually knew this. As someone who has severe anxiety and a keen sensitivity to everyone else’s presence, energy, or vibration around me, I realized how I unconsciously projected my anxiety onto those people, while also being aware of this. This meant I needed grounding and that has been a huge part of this transformation!
At first, however, the “logical” part of my mind tried to convince me that numerology just couldn’t apply to human beings and that the theory was nothing more than physics. (But what is physics, really?) Out of curiosity, I put my kid’s birthdays in the calculator. For both of them, I also got 11! Disappointment had set in when I realized I must have been tricked and that it told everyone the same thing. I put Savannah’s, my girlfriend’s, in and the result was 7. I felt so confused.
I researched the method used to find one’s Lifepath number and tried it for myself. (It’s really simple). The result was correct! Me and my two children were all 11s and Savannah was a 7! How weird, I thought. Then, I did the math for everyone’s birthday I could possibly remember-dozens of people! And me and my two children were the only 11s! I began incorporating numerology into tarot and studied everyday like I had with the cards.
Even still, astrology hadn’t appealed to me. I still had it in my head that it was a horoscope from the page of a magazine and I was just a pessimistic Capricorn. How could that be when I feel that everyone is so much more complex?
I could go on and on passionately telling you about my spiritual journey, but it will all come in time because… I know now that I am more than just a Capricorn and…
“YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR SUN SIGN!“
Don’t believe me?
